We’ve all been there. You love your friends, but every time you hang out, it feels like you’re the third wheel. It’s not that you don’t want to celebrate their relationships, but sitting in between their inside jokes, stolen glances, and couple-y moments? It’s tough. It can leave you feeling like you’re missing something, or worse—feeling like you’re less because you’re on your own.
But let’s flip the script. Being single doesn’t mean being lonely, and being on your own doesn’t mean being unhappy. Solitude can be a beautiful, fulfilling thing. You just have to learn how to find joy in it. Let’s talk about how to embrace your solo time, find joy in your independence, and stop feeling like the perpetual third wheel.
Why Being the Third Wheel Feels So Draining
Before we dive into how to find joy in solitude, let’s acknowledge why being the third wheel can feel so exhausting.
1. Feeling Like You’re Missing Out
It’s hard not to feel like you’re missing out when you’re constantly surrounded by couples. You start to wonder, “Why haven’t I found that yet?” or “Am I behind in life?” Watching your friends build relationships can trigger feelings of inadequacy, even though your worth isn’t tied to your relationship status.
2. The Awkward Dynamics
No matter how close you are with your coupled-up friends, sometimes it’s hard to escape the awkward moments—whether it’s them cuddling at the table while you’re sipping your drink or them sharing a joke you don’t quite get. It’s not intentional, but it can feel isolating, like you’re witnessing something that’s just not for you.
3. The Constant Reminder
When you’re the only single one in the group, it’s like a flashing sign reminding you of your relationship status. You don’t even have to be thinking about dating, but just being around couples can make it impossible to escape the reminder that, for now, you’re solo.
The Truth About Solitude: It’s Not Loneliness
Here’s the truth that society doesn’t always shout from the rooftops: solitude is not loneliness. There’s a big difference between being alone and feeling lonely. You can be surrounded by people and feel disconnected, or you can be by yourself and feel completely content.
Solitude is about embracing your own company. It’s about learning to be your own best friend, to find happiness in doing things you love without needing someone by your side. Once you unlock that joy in solitude, everything shifts. You stop feeling like a third wheel and start seeing your alone time as valuable and fulfilling.
How to Find Joy in Solitude
Ready to transform how you see your solo time? Let’s dive into how you can find joy in being on your own and create a life that feels rich and exciting, even without a plus-one.
1. Redefine What It Means to Be Alone
First things first—you’ve got to stop equating “alone” with “lonely.” Being alone doesn’t mean there’s something missing from your life. It doesn’t mean you’re behind or lacking. It simply means you’re in a season of life where you’re focusing on yourself, and that’s a beautiful thing.
Think of solitude as an opportunity rather than a burden. It’s time for self-discovery, for diving into your passions, and for creating memories that are all about you. Once you reframe your mindset, solitude feels empowering, not isolating.
2. Celebrate Your Freedom
One of the best things about being on your own? Freedom. You get to do what you want, when you want, with no compromises. Want to go on a spontaneous weekend trip? Do it. Feel like staying in and binge-watching your favorite show? Go for it.
When you’re single, you have the freedom to make decisions solely based on what makes you happy. Embrace that freedom. Celebrate it. Being in a relationship is wonderful, but so is being able to make your own choices without checking in with anyone else.
3. Find New Hobbies and Passions
If you’ve been feeling like the third wheel, now’s the perfect time to explore new hobbies and passions that are all about you. What have you always wanted to try but never got around to? Maybe it’s painting, hiking, learning a new language, or even taking up dancing.
Hobbies are more than just ways to pass the time—they’re ways to connect with yourself and discover new sides of your personality. The more you engage in activities you love, the more fulfilled you’ll feel. Plus, there’s something so satisfying about learning something new and excelling at it on your own terms.
4. Build a Relationship with Yourself
Here’s a thought: how’s your relationship with yourself? We often pour energy into relationships with others—friends, partners, coworkers—but how much time do you spend getting to know you?
Start building a relationship with yourself. Take yourself out on solo dates. Treat yourself to your favorite meal. Spend time journaling or reflecting on what makes you truly happy. The more you connect with yourself, the more you’ll realize that solitude isn’t something to be feared—it’s something to cherish.
5. Travel Solo
If you’ve never traveled solo, let me tell you—it’s a game-changer. Solo travel is one of the best ways to build confidence, explore new places, and enjoy your own company. There’s something incredibly empowering about navigating a new city or country on your own.
Even if it’s just a weekend trip, try going somewhere solo. You’ll come back feeling refreshed, energized, and with a renewed sense of independence.
6. Set Boundaries with Your Friends
If you’re feeling like the third wheel, it’s okay to set boundaries with your friends. Sometimes, that means politely declining invitations to couple-centric activities that make you feel uncomfortable. You don’t have to put yourself in situations that make you feel out of place.
And if your friends are constantly talking about their relationships or planning things that exclude you, it’s okay to speak up. Let them know how you’re feeling. A good friend will appreciate your honesty and make an effort to include you in ways that make you feel valued and connected.
7. Focus on Your Personal Growth
One of the best ways to find joy in solitude is by focusing on your personal growth. Use this time to invest in yourself—emotionally, mentally, and physically. Whether that’s working on your career goals, improving your health, or diving into personal development, this is your time to grow and evolve.
When you’re actively working on becoming the best version of yourself, being single feels like a powerful choice, not something that’s happening to you.
How to Enjoy Time with Couples Without Feeling Like the Third Wheel
Okay, but what about those times when you can’t avoid being the third wheel? Here’s how to enjoy hanging out with your couple friends without feeling like an outsider.
1. Own Your Space
One way to feel less like the third wheel is to own your space. When you’re with couples, don’t shy away or minimize yourself. Be part of the conversation, share your thoughts, and engage in the moment. Remember, you’re an important part of the group, even if you’re not coupled up.
2. Bring Your Single Friends Along
If you’re headed to an event or hangout that’s dominated by couples, why not invite a single friend along? Having another single person in the mix can help balance things out and make the dynamic feel less couple-centric.
3. Plan Solo Friend Dates
Sometimes, you just need quality one-on-one time with your friends, without their partners. Plan solo friend dates where you can reconnect with your besties without the third-wheel feeling. Whether it’s coffee, a movie night, or a day trip, spending time with your friends one-on-one can strengthen your connection and make you feel more included.
Solitude is Powerful—Embrace It
At the end of the day, being single is not something to be pitied. It’s something to embrace. Solitude is powerful, and when you learn to enjoy your own company, you stop feeling like the third wheel and start realizing just how fulfilling life can be on your own.
So, next time you’re tempted to feel down about your single status, flip the script. Celebrate your freedom, dive into your passions, and build a life that feels joyful and exciting—just for you. You deserve it.