Let’s be real. We’ve all had that dream, right? You know the one—a whirlwind romance where he sweeps you off your feet, says all the right things, and the whole thing just feels… magical. Maybe you’re picturing the sunset proposal on a beach, or that slow dance at your wedding reception where you just know you’ve found your happily ever after. There’s nothing wrong with wanting the fairytale.
But let’s pause for a moment. Just because you want the magic doesn’t mean you should settle for a fairytale that costs you your happiness, your sanity, or your self-respect. It’s totally okay to dream big when it comes to love. You just shouldn’t have to sacrifice everything to make it happen. So, let’s talk about why you can (and should) want the fairytale—but not at any cost.
It’s Okay to Want It All
There’s a lot of pressure out there to settle for “good enough.” Society loves to tell women that if they’re too picky, they’ll end up alone. So, what do we do? We try to convince ourselves that we’re fine with the bare minimum because we don’t want to be seen as “demanding.” We tell ourselves that maybe we’re asking for too much when we want romance, loyalty, and passion.
But here’s the thing: You’re not asking for too much. It’s perfectly okay to want it all. It’s okay to want the kind of love that makes you light up from the inside. You shouldn’t have to convince yourself to settle for a relationship that’s “just okay” when you’re dreaming of something extraordinary.
Your feelings are valid. You deserve someone who sees the magic in you and wants to be part of that fairytale with you. It’s not about chasing an unrealistic fantasy. It’s about finding someone who aligns with your vision of love and is willing to put in the effort to make it a reality.
The Danger of Chasing the Fairytale at Any Cost
Now, let’s get real about the other side of the coin. When you’re so focused on achieving that fairytale love story, it can be easy to overlook some pretty big red flags. You get caught up in the excitement, and suddenly, things that would normally make you pause don’t seem like such a big deal anymore.
Ever stayed in a relationship too long because you kept hoping he’d change? Or let someone treat you less than you deserve because you thought things would get better? We’ve all been there. It’s easy to lose yourself in the fantasy of “what could be” and ignore the reality of “what is.”
Chasing the fairytale at any cost often means:
- Overlooking red flags. If you’re constantly making excuses for someone’s behavior, that’s a sign.
- Compromising your boundaries. You shouldn’t have to bend over backward just to keep someone around.
- Ignoring your gut feelings. If something feels off, it probably is. Listen to your intuition.
When you chase the fairytale blindly, you risk giving up pieces of yourself. And girl, you are way too valuable to be handing out discounts on your worth.
The Difference Between a Real Fairytale and a Fantasy
It’s important to distinguish between a real fairytale and an unrealistic fantasy. A real fairytale doesn’t mean everything is perfect all the time. Real relationships have ups and downs. They take work. They require compromise. But in a true fairytale, you both put in the effort to make it last. There’s mutual respect, love, and a genuine connection.
A fantasy, on the other hand, is more about the idea of what love should look like rather than the reality of what it is. It’s thinking that a relationship will magically fix all your problems, that every day will be perfect, or that you should change who you are to make someone else happy. When you’re stuck chasing a fantasy, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment because no one—no matter how amazing—will be able to meet those impossible standards.
The real fairytale happens when two people accept each other as they are and still choose to build a life together, flaws and all. It’s about finding the magic in everyday moments and choosing to stay even when things aren’t perfect. That’s where the real beauty lies.
Setting Boundaries Doesn’t Mean Lowering Your Standards
When you’re looking for that fairytale love, it’s important to set boundaries without lowering your standards. There’s a difference between compromising and settling. Compromise is healthy; it’s about finding a middle ground. Settling is accepting less than what you know you deserve because you’re afraid you won’t find anything better.
It’s okay to have standards. In fact, you should have them. Standards are there to protect you, to ensure that you’re only letting people into your life who are going to add to it, not take away from it.
Boundaries aren’t about being demanding or difficult; they’re about knowing your worth. If you’re in a relationship and you’re constantly the one making sacrifices, giving in, or apologizing for having feelings, then something’s not right. The right person will respect your boundaries and want to meet your standards because they’ll see your value and want to rise to the occasion.
Don’t Let the Fear of Being Alone Keep You in the Wrong Relationship
The fear of being alone can be powerful. It’s that little voice in the back of your head that says, “Maybe this is as good as it gets.” But that fear can keep you stuck in a relationship that isn’t right for you. When you’re so focused on having a partner—any partner—you might end up staying with someone who doesn’t truly see you, support you, or love you the way you need to be loved.
Here’s the truth: Being alone isn’t the worst thing. Staying in the wrong relationship is. There’s nothing lonelier than being with someone who makes you feel unseen. It’s better to be single and holding out for the right person than to settle just to avoid being alone.
You can want the fairytale without forcing yourself into a story that doesn’t fit. Remember, your worth isn’t determined by your relationship status. It’s better to be alone and thriving than together and miserable.
The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away
Sometimes, the most empowering thing you can do is walk away. If you’re in a relationship where you’re constantly having to convince yourself that things will get better, it might be time to re-evaluate. If you’re always the one putting in the effort, making excuses for their behavior, or feeling like you’re not enough, then that’s not the fairytale you deserve.
Walking away doesn’t mean giving up on love. It means choosing yourself. It means recognizing that your fairytale doesn’t have to include someone who isn’t willing to meet you halfway. It’s about knowing that you deserve someone who is just as committed to making it work as you are.
It’s okay to end a relationship that isn’t fulfilling, even if you’ve invested time and emotions into it. It’s never too late to start a new chapter. Sometimes, walking away is the bravest thing you can do, and it can lead you to a love that’s even better than the one you thought you wanted.
Your Fairytale Doesn’t Have to Look Like Everyone Else’s
Let’s get one thing straight: Your love story doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s to be magical. Maybe your fairytale doesn’t involve a big wedding or a house in the suburbs. Maybe it’s about traveling the world together, or building a life full of shared adventures and spontaneous moments.
The important thing is that it feels right for you. Don’t get caught up in what society says your love life should look like. Forget about the Instagram couples with their #RelationshipGoals. Your fairytale is unique to you, and that’s what makes it special.
Whether you’re single, dating, or in a committed relationship, embrace your own path. It’s okay to want the big romantic gestures, but it’s also okay to find magic in the little things, like a quiet night in or a spontaneous road trip. There’s no “right” way to have a fairytale. The only thing that matters is that you’re happy and fulfilled.
Love Should Add to Your Life, Not Complete It
We’ve all heard the saying, “You complete me.” But here’s the truth: You’re already complete. Love should add to your life, not be the missing piece. You don’t need someone to make you whole because you are already whole.
The right relationship should enhance your life, not fill a void. It should bring out the best in you, inspire you to grow, and add joy to your everyday. If you’re in a relationship where you’re constantly feeling like you’re “not enough” or like you have to change who you are to be loved, then that’s not the fairytale you deserve.
You deserve a love that celebrates who you are. One that makes the highs even higher and helps you through the lows without making you feel like a burden. The fairytale is about finding someone who loves all the little quirks that make you unique, not someone who tries to change them.
Final Thoughts
Wanting the fairytale doesn’t mean you’re being unrealistic. It means you know what you want and you’re not willing to settle for anything less than a love that lights you up from the inside. It’s okay to dream big when it comes to love. Just make sure that in your quest for the fairytale, you don’t lose sight of what’s important—your own happiness, peace, and self-worth.
The fairytale is real, but it doesn’t always look like a Hollywood movie. It’s found in the little moments of joy, the everyday acts of love, and the mutual respect and effort that make a relationship work. Don’t be afraid to want it all. Just remember that the right love won’t come at the cost of losing yourself.
You deserve a love that feels like a fairytale—but never at the expense of your own happiness.