Hey, you. Yes, you. Feeling lonely, huh? I get it. That hollow, empty feeling that creeps in when you least expect it. Like you’re missing out, or like everyone else seems to have it figured out. And here you are, with nothing but your thoughts and a long list of “What’s wrong with me?” running on repeat. But listen, you’re not alone in this. We all feel lonely at times. It doesn’t mean you’re broken or destined to be lonely forever. It just means you’ve got some extra space in your life—and today, we’re going to talk about how you can fill it with your own awesomeness.
What is Loneliness, Really?
Before we dive into becoming your own best buddy, let’s get real about what loneliness actually is. It’s not just being by yourself. It’s that painful gap between the social connection you want and the connection you actually have. So, you can feel lonely in a crowded room or even when you’re in a relationship if you’re not getting that sense of genuine connection.
The good news? That sense of connection starts with YOU. Learning to be your own best companion is about understanding that you’re not “less than” just because you’re by yourself. It’s about finding joy in your own company, because at the end of the day, you’re the only person you’re guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with. So let’s make sure you enjoy that time!
Make Friends with Your Inner Critic
I know, I know. The idea of befriending that nagging voice in your head sounds kind of nuts. But hear me out. That inner critic that loves to tell you how much you’re missing out or how “everyone else” is living their best life? It’s just trying to protect you. It’s trying to keep you from getting hurt, even if it’s going about it in the worst way possible.
So, let’s give that inner voice a makeover. Instead of letting it tear you down, thank it for trying to help and then redirect it. When it starts saying things like, “You’re always going to be alone,” try saying, “Hey, thanks for the concern, but I’m actually doing okay here.” The more you practice challenging those negative thoughts, the quieter they’ll become.
Fall in Love with Your Own Company
Here’s a wild idea: What if being alone could actually be… enjoyable? Before you roll your eyes, think about it. When you’re by yourself, you get to do exactly what you want. No compromising on which movie to watch or where to eat dinner. You’re the boss.
Start doing things you enjoy solo. Go out for a meal and savor every bite. Take a walk in nature and notice all the little details. Watch a movie you’ve been dying to see without anyone talking through the best parts.
Here’s the kicker—doing things alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely. It means you’re comfortable enough with yourself to enjoy your own company. That’s powerful.
Create a Routine You Love
When loneliness hits, it can feel like every day is a drag. But routines give your day structure, and more importantly, they give you something to look forward to. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Start your morning with a little dance party in your kitchen, even if it’s just for the cat (or, hey, even if it’s just for yourself). Set aside time for a hobby that excites you.
Build moments of joy into your routine that are just for you. That could be anything from making a cup of fancy coffee to doing ten minutes of yoga. When you start showing up for yourself in small ways, it adds up.
Treat Yourself Like You’d Treat Your Best Friend
Think about your best friend for a second. If they were feeling down, would you tell them, “Well, it’s because you’re unlovable and boring”? Of course not. You’d remind them how awesome they are and probably suggest something fun to cheer them up. So, why not do the same for yourself?
The next time you’re feeling lonely, practice talking to yourself like you would to a friend. Be kind. Be supportive. It’s amazing how much better things feel when you’re gentle with yourself instead of being your own worst critic. You’re not being “lazy” or “pathetic” for feeling lonely. You’re just a human who needs a little love and understanding—especially from yourself.
Get Moving (Yes, Seriously)
Okay, I know what you’re thinking: “Oh great, more advice about exercise.” But hear me out. It doesn’t have to be about going to the gym or running a marathon. It’s about getting your body moving in any way that feels good. Whether that’s a 10-minute walk around the block, dancing around your living room, or stretching on your living room floor. Movement releases endorphins, and those little guys are basically nature’s antidepressants.
Plus, when you move, you start to get out of your head. It’s like hitting the reset button on all those looping negative thoughts. So, get up, shake it out, and don’t overthink it. Your body (and your mind) will thank you.
Try New Hobbies (or Revisit Old Ones)
Remember that thing you used to love doing as a kid? Maybe it was drawing, rollerblading, or playing the piano. When’s the last time you did it just for fun? Picking up an old hobby or trying a new one can give you a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Plus, it’s a great way to meet new people who share your interests.
The goal here isn’t to master something or become the best. It’s about having something that you look forward to. It’s about bringing a little bit of joy back into your life. Even if it feels silly at first, give it a shot. You might just surprise yourself.
Don’t Compare Your Life to Social Media
Social media can be a huge trigger for feeling lonely. It’s like everyone’s showing off their highlight reel, and you’re stuck watching from the sidelines. But remember: what you see online is just a tiny, curated slice of someone’s life. For every cute couple photo, there are a hundred mundane or even unhappy moments they’re not sharing.
Instead of scrolling through Instagram, why not do something that actually makes you feel good? Call a friend, start a project, or even just take a nap. You don’t have to keep up with anyone else’s life. Yours is good enough—trust me.
Practice Gratitude
I know, it sounds cliché, but there’s a reason everyone and their mom talks about gratitude. It works. When you’re feeling lonely, it’s easy to focus on what you don’t have. Practicing gratitude shifts your mindset to what you do have.
Start small. Write down three things you’re grateful for every day. It could be anything—a good cup of coffee, a sunny day, or even just the fact that you made it through the day. Over time, you’ll notice that you’re paying more attention to the good things in your life, and that can make a huge difference in how you feel.
Connect in Small, Meaningful Ways
When you’re lonely, it’s tempting to withdraw even more. But small connections can make a big difference. You don’t have to dive into deep conversations right away. Start small. Smile at a neighbor, chat with the barista, or send a “Hey, thinking of you” text to a friend.
Little interactions like these can remind you that you’re part of a bigger world. And who knows? They might even turn into deeper connections over time.
Embrace the Quiet
Silence isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, learning to be okay with quiet moments can be incredibly empowering. Instead of filling the space with noise, distractions, or negative thoughts, try sitting with the silence. Use it as a chance to check in with yourself.
Ask, “How am I really feeling?” “What do I need right now?” You might be surprised at what comes up. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable at first, but over time, you’ll start to see these quiet moments as opportunities for growth rather than something to avoid.
Remember, This is Temporary
It’s so important to remember that loneliness is a temporary feeling. It can come and go, sometimes when you least expect it. But it’s not forever, and it’s not a permanent state of being.
Think about all the times in the past when you’ve felt this way and how those feelings eventually faded. It will happen again. In the meantime, focus on becoming your own best companion, because once you start to genuinely enjoy your own company, the rest tends to fall into place.
Closing Thoughts: You’ve Got This
Loneliness can feel like a heavy weight, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. You’ve got everything you need within yourself to be happy, fulfilled, and whole. It’s about learning to see yourself as enough, just as you are, and finding joy in the simple things.
So, go out there and do something nice for yourself today. You deserve it. Whether it’s a warm bath, a walk in the park, or just curling up with a good book, take the time to be kind to yourself. You’re not alone in this, and you’re stronger than you think.