Let’s get one thing straight: you deserve to be a priority, not just an option. When you’re treated like an option, you’re someone’s backup plan, fallback, or “maybe if I have time” person. But you’re worth so much more than that. You’re not meant to sit around waiting for someone to decide if you’re worth their time, effort, or love. And it’s time to start embracing that truth.
Setting your standard at being a priority isn’t about being demanding—it’s about self-respect. It’s about knowing what you bring to the table and not settling for crumbs when you deserve the whole feast. So, let’s dive into why being a priority should be your standard and how you can start making that shift today.
What Does It Mean to Be a Priority?
Being a priority means you’re important in someone’s life. Your needs, feelings, and well-being matter to them, and they actively make an effort to show it. It’s not about being the center of someone’s world—it’s about being valued and considered. When you’re a priority, you don’t have to beg for attention or wonder where you stand. You know because they show you through their actions, not just words.
If you’re feeling like you’re constantly waiting for a text back, getting last-minute invites, or always having to initiate plans, chances are you’re being treated like an option. And that’s not okay.
Why You Shouldn’t Settle for Being an Option
It’s easy to fall into the trap of accepting less than you deserve because you don’t want to be “too much” or “high-maintenance.” But settling for being an option sends the message that you’re okay with being treated as an afterthought—and you’re not. You shouldn’t have to convince anyone to make an effort for you.
Here’s why you shouldn’t settle for being an option:
- It chips away at your self-esteem. The more you accept being treated as a “maybe,” the more you start to believe you don’t deserve better.
- You end up sacrificing your own happiness. When you’re waiting for someone to decide if you’re worth it, you’re putting your life on hold.
- It creates an unbalanced dynamic. Relationships should be built on mutual effort and care, not one person doing all the work.
Remember, being a priority isn’t asking for too much—it’s asking for what’s fair.
The Signs You’re Being Treated Like an Option
Sometimes, it’s hard to recognize that you’re being treated like an option, especially if you’re emotionally invested. But paying attention to certain signs can help you see things clearly. Here are some common indicators:
- They’re inconsistent with their attention. Sometimes, they’re all in, and other times, they disappear. You’re left guessing where you stand.
- You’re not their first choice. You often get invited as a backup when other plans fall through.
- They don’t prioritize your time together. If you’re always accommodating their schedule and they’re never making an effort to fit into yours, that’s a red flag.
- You’re the one always reaching out first. If you’re always the one initiating conversations or making plans, it’s a sign they’re not prioritizing you.
If these signs sound familiar, it’s time to raise your standards and stop settling for anything less than being a priority.
You Deserve Someone Who Makes You a Priority
You are worthy of someone who sees your value, who makes an effort to be part of your life, and who considers your needs and feelings. You shouldn’t have to remind them to call you, text you, or make plans with you. Someone who truly values you will want to make you a priority because they see how amazing you are.
When you’re with someone who prioritizes you:
- You feel secure in the relationship. You don’t have to second-guess where you stand.
- Your needs are met without constant reminders. You don’t have to fight for the basics, like communication and time together.
- You experience mutual effort and care. You’re not the only one giving—your partner is also investing in the relationship.
Being a priority means you’re not just filling space in someone’s life. You’re an important part of it.
How to Raise Your Standards and Stop Accepting Less
Raising your standards doesn’t mean you’re being “picky” or “unreasonable.” It means you’re recognizing your worth and not settling for anything less than what you deserve. Here’s how to make the shift:
- Set clear boundaries. If someone isn’t putting in the effort to make you feel valued, don’t be afraid to call it out or walk away. Boundaries aren’t about controlling others; they’re about protecting yourself.
- Stop making excuses for their behavior. If someone consistently treats you like an option, don’t brush it off as “just how they are.” You deserve better.
- Don’t be afraid to walk away. If someone isn’t willing to make you a priority, then you’re better off without them. It’s better to be alone than to be with someone who doesn’t value you.
Remember, raising your standards isn’t about changing someone else’s behavior—it’s about changing what you’re willing to tolerate.
Don’t Be Afraid of Being Alone
One of the reasons people settle for being an option is the fear of being alone. It’s easy to convince yourself that something is better than nothing. But here’s the thing—being alone is better than being treated like an afterthought. When you’re single, you have the freedom to focus on you, pursue your passions, and build the life you want.
Embrace your independence and know that your worth isn’t tied to someone else’s validation. The right person will come along, and when they do, they’ll make you a priority without you having to beg for it.
The Power of Self-Respect
At the heart of raising your standards is self-respect. When you respect yourself, you naturally attract people who will respect you, too. Self-respect means not settling for less than what you deserve and not compromising your happiness for the sake of someone else’s convenience.
Start practicing self-respect by:
- Putting your own needs first. It’s okay to be a little “selfish” when it comes to your well-being.
- Speaking up for yourself. If you’re unhappy with how you’re being treated, let it be known.
- Choosing to walk away from situations that don’t serve you. It’s not a loss if you’re leaving behind something that wasn’t good for you in the first place.
The more you practice self-respect, the more you’ll find that being treated as a priority becomes the standard, not the exception.
How Being a Priority Impacts Your Mental Health
Being treated as an option can seriously impact your mental health. It can lead to feelings of anxiety, insecurity, and even depression. When you’re constantly trying to prove your worth or get someone to see your value, it’s draining. On the other hand, when you’re a priority, you feel loved, valued, and secure. Your mental and emotional well-being improves because you’re not constantly questioning your place in someone’s life.
Choosing to be a priority is also about choosing your mental health. It’s about protecting yourself from the emotional exhaustion that comes with being someone’s “sometimes.”
Don’t Wait Around for Someone to Make You a Priority
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking, “If I’m patient, they’ll eventually see my worth.” But here’s the thing—if someone doesn’t see your worth from the start, waiting around isn’t going to change that. Don’t waste your time hoping someone will change. You deserve someone who already knows you’re worth the effort.
Take control of your life and make yourself a priority first. When you start treating yourself like you’re important, others will follow suit. The right person will come along who doesn’t need convincing to treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
The Bottom Line: You Deserve to Be a Priority
You are not an option. You are not a backup plan, a “maybe,” or a second choice. You are a priority, and you deserve to be treated as such. Set your standard at being a priority, and don’t settle for less. The right person will make you feel valued without you having to ask for it.
So, start raising those standards, embrace your worth, and don’t be afraid to walk away from anyone who doesn’t see you as the incredible person you are. You deserve nothing less than to be someone’s priority.